OK, I just ran to the store to buy a 12 pack of soda and some popcorn since I'm gonna be up late watching the entire first season of Lost (kick ass show I might add) and I parked next to some riced out Del Sol since I was in a hurry to buy my stuff before the store closed for the night. I bought my stuff and I walked back to my car and unlocked the door. As I was opening the door, I hear the most wiggereish voice I've ever heard in my life:
"YO YO YO DAWG!! Watch out for da paint on mah car! Shit cost me like a grand muh-fucka!" (his "$1000 paint job" was a burnt sienna colored primer)
I turn around and I'm trying to keep myself from bursting out laughing because the kid (mind you he's skinny and white) was dressed up in almost every product from the FUBU line, a pair of dirty ass AIr Force Ones, a silver mecklace/chain/whatever that hung down below his crotch, and his "girlfriend" or transvestite (couldn't tell) was hanging onto his arm and it looked like her eyebrows were drawn on with a Sharpie. Anyhoo, here's the conversation we had:
Me: Oh sorry about that, man, I'm kinda in a rush.
Wigger: C'mon man you knows mah car is da shit. Juss look at dat paint job and da chrome rims man. (chrome rims were Pep Boys hubcaps)
Me: Oh OK. So you like modifying cars?
Wigger: Yeah you know I do it big dawg. Been in da game for bout 6 years now. I've had my baby *points to his Sol* for bout 4 years now and spent bout 10 grand on it.
Me: Oh that's nice. What do you have done to it?
Wigger: Turbo, NOS, paint, taillights, exhaust, and wheels. Shit be mad crazy fast yo.
Me: Oh you're turbo'ed? What type of turbo setup are you running?
Wigger: I dunno. It was already on when I bought the muh-fucka.
Me: Hmmmm. Can I look under your hood and see?
Wigger: Nah dawg. I don't let peeps see what I'm runnin'. N*ggas be peepin my shit and try to steal a man's stuff.
Me: Oh OK. (at this point I walked around to the front of the car to see if there was an intyercooler......there wasn't) Where's your intercooler?
Wigger: Wuzzat?
Me: Where's your intercooler?
Wigger: Yeah I heard you the first time. Wut's a intercooler?
Me:
At this point, I could tell this guy was hopeless so I decided to have a little fun with him.
Me: An intercooler is a chamber in your engine that houses a green liquid called Nepthal-nitrogen. It's 3 times as effective as nitrous and is also less dangerous to run because it doesn't explode like regular nitrous.
Wigger: Ohhhh yeah yeah yeah. U mean like dat green car in Fast and Furious right?
Me: Yeah, right.
Wigger: How much does dat nitro shit cost? Im bout to peep into dat and get dat shit. Fuck NOS.
Me: Oh it hasn't been relesed yet. But if you wanna run it you have to get a flux capacitor installed so the nepthal-nitrogen stays at -500 degrees.
Wigger: Oh OK so how much a flux capacitor gonna set me back?
Me: About a hundred bucks.
Wigger: Aight man. I guess dat bangin sound system is gonna have to wait. I was about to drop 3 grand on a sound system for mah car. Shit will be able to blow out windows and shit.
Me: OK well good luck with that stuff man.
*sigh* I REALLY REALLY fear for our children's future.....................
