thejdm.com v6 [2026 rebirth] • Rules to live by....(ROFL) • Print view

Author:

Mini_Me 09 [ October 28, 2003 ]

Post subject:

Rules to live by....(ROFL)

Rules to Live By.........
>
> The Man's View
>
> >Rules Every Woman Should Know
> >
> >We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the
> >rules from the male side. These are OUR rules!
> >
> >Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
> >
> >1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up,
> >put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us
> >complaining about you leaving it down.
> >
> >1. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the
> >tides. Let it be.
> >
> >1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of
> >it that way.
> >
> >1. Crying is blackmail.
> >
> >1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints
> >do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work!
> >Just say it!
> >
> >1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every
> >question.
> >
> >1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.
> >That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
> >
> >1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
> >
> >1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In
> >fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
> >
> >1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't
> >expect us to act like soap opera guys.
> >
> >1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
> >
> >1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the
> >ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
> >
> >1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it
> >done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it
> >yourself.
> >
> >1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
> >commercials.
> >
> >1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.
> >
> >1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
> >Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a
> >fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
> >
> >1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
> >
> >1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like
> >nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth
> >the hassle.
> >
> >1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an
> >answer you don't want to hear.
> >
> >1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is
> >fine. Really.
> >
> >1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared
> >to discuss such topics as baseball, or monster trucks.
> >
> >1. You have enough clothes.
> >
> >1. You have too many shoes.
> >
> >1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.
> >
> >Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the
> >couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that? It's
> >like camping.

thejdm.com v6 [2026 rebirth] https://www.thejdm.com/forum/ Print view

Rules to live by....(ROFL) https://www.thejdm.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=12&t=641	Page 1 of 2

Author:	.saint [ October 28, 2003 ]
Post subject:
everything stated is 110% true.

Author:	civicex2g [ October 28, 2003 ]
Post subject:
AMEN BROVA MAN

Author:	munster [ October 28, 2003 ]
Post subject:
That rawks. I printed it out and put it on the refrigerator so my girlfriend can read it every morning.

Author:	munster [ October 29, 2003 ]
Post subject:
SHE'S LETTING ME SLEEP IN THE BED TONIGHT!

Author:	tenchu [ October 29, 2003 ]
Post subject:
thats great, lol

All times are UTC-04:00	Page 1 of 2
Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Limited

Author:	munster [ October 28, 2003 ]
Post subject:
hahaha. I READ it to her while she was washing dishes AND I hi-lited the important ones. I got slapped, water thrown on me, and I'm afraid I might be "camping" tonight. It was prime, though.